The significance of some of the dishes is obvious. We eat pomegranate and wish that our virtues will be as many as the fruit's seeds. We eat a fish's head and wish that we will thrive "like a head rather than like a tail." I remember, as a child, staring in horror at my uncle as he sucked the cheeks and the forehead of a large carp.

 

But some of the "blessings" involve creative plays on words. For example, we eat pumpkin because the word for pumpkin in Aramaic (kar'a) sounds like the Hebrew root that denotes tearing or shredding, and wish that God will tear up our indictments and judge us favorably. Or we eat black-eyed peas while wishing that God will have sympathy for us, because in Ladino this legume is called "lubya," which (vaguely) sounds like "lelabev," a Hebrew verb for sympathizing. We also eat leek fritters for linguistic reasons that are too complicated to explain.

 

As I was cooking these labor-intensive dishes last year, I thought of the power of words. Religious people believe in the power of verbal blessing or the words uttered in prayer. Many people believe in the power of swearwords and curses. Often, when my daughters hear an adult drop a verbal bomb and are horrified by a particularly "bad" word, I tell them that words are just words. Actions matter more.

 

And when I tell them that, I know that there is another part to the truism. Actions matter more, but words do matter and they particularly matter when they might lead to actions. Hateful rhetoric can trigger hateful actions. I witnessed it time and time again among Israelis and Palestinians. Those who grew up in America can point to cases here as well in which venomous rhetoric incited people to take lethal action.

 

Where I come from, hateful rhetoric foments not only Israeli-Palestinian violence but also intra-Israeli violence. It just so happens that whenever political incitement drives violent action, the blood spilled is that of a dove.  

 

That is not to say that we, in the peace camp, don't commit verbal sins. It is not to say that we cannot and should not be careful with what we say and how we say it. Particularly in this age, when the internet places a megaphone for instant use in the hands of each and every one of us, our language ought to be responsible and civilized. Our words ought to reflect our values and worldview.

 

It's not an easy thing to do, when hawkish Israelis and their American supporters lob the most despicable accusations against us and call us the ugliest names.

 

Our strength is in our adherence to facts and to truth, in our focusing on what is right, on what is pragmatic, in our commitment to doing what serves the national security interests of both the United States and Israel, in our determination to secure a better future for Israel and its neighbors.

 

My resolution for this new year, therefore, is to be as careful and responsible as I can in my use of words. To weigh what I say and write before uttering, and to thus make my contribution to a civilized discussion of the issues that matter so much to all of us.

 

So maybe next year I will add a "blessing" to the Rosh Hashana tapas, something to signify responsible rhetoric, civility in speech. Any ideas for a yummy dish to bless over?

 

 

Shana Tova. Shnat Shalom.   

 

 

P.S. In the holiday spirit, I may consider sharing a couple of my grandmother's secret "blessings" recipes. Write to me.